I am starting this year completely fresh.
Last year was not a great year for me,I found myself in a constant circle of not feeling myself,suffering from depression caused through stress and with that I had problems with anxiety which I have never had before.
It took me a long time to realise that it was my job that was causing all of this,I wanted to find a new job at the beginning of last year but I had been there nearly 7 years and because of my depression kept talking myself out of doing it.
I found that I started feeling better and more myself during the middle of the year,I stayed in the job and carried on as I always had done,then the end of September the depression hit me again,I became withdrawn from people close to me including my boyfriend,who could see what was going on but I didn’t want to accept it at the time and kept telling myself and him that I was fine and nothing was wrong with me.People at work noticed a change in me aswel and I told them that I was fine aswel still not thinking anything was wrong.
It was only when it started to effect my job that I realised something was wrong and I had to do something to help myself,I found that I would go into very low moods when I was at work and just going to work or the thought of it effected my mood.I applied for a new job,I had an interview which because of my anxiety and the fact that I hadn’t had a job interview in 7 years made me so nervous and I thought I had messed up a few times,I had a phone call less than a week later with a job offer and I was so happy because I had shown myself that I could make a change.From then I started to feel a bit happier in myself than I had been.
I handed my notice in at work to leave at the end of the year and everyone was so supportive and some even asked me why I hadn’t done it sooner as they knew something was bothering me.
I have now left work and I am now waiting to start my new job,even just the few days that I have been away from the job I have noticed a difference in myself as have my family/friends and after a year I am starting to feel more myself than I have been in a long time,I know that what I have done is the best thing I could have done for myself and can’t wait to get started in my new job and have a completely fresh start and I know that it will only get better as I feel more myself again.
I don’t know how long it will take but I will get myself better,I’m thinking about it now and I can’t believe that a job could make me as unwell as it did I just wish I had realised sooner so as I didn’t get to the point that I was,but maybe I had to go that way to realise I needed a change.
Sometimes change is good and in my situation it definately is.